From the time we are born our parents, and the many adults around us, tell us how when we grow up we’re going to do this, or do that, or if we want to be successful we need to do this, and steer clear of that.. Not once did anyone ever mention how much being an adult sucks at times.
Not even in high school, when teachers and parents are supposedly preparing you for the “real world”, did I ever feel like I was really prepped for all of the unfortunate things that happen in the adult world.
No one mentioned bills. Until I rented an apartment in college, I didn’t even know how to manage my money in order to live. I make a job where I shouldn’t have to live “paycheck-to-paycheck”, but I do. Why? Because it wasn’t offered as a high school class, or really even a college class how to balance life. How to pay expenses without going overboard. Not once did I ever hear about a class on how to make a budget. Which would have been EXTREMELY handy!
Now I don’t want to come across as only complaining. I, thankfully, make enough money that everything gets paid for each month and I never go without, but outside of the meager planning for my retirement that I have done with my agency, I don’t have much in Savings. I do have a house, a new(ish) car, and I am definitely not going hungry. I do go on vacations, but I always feel so incredibly stressed out when looking into my finances.
I think another part of the problem is that I am SO stubborn! I want nice things, but I don’t want to accept help with any of my bills from my boyfriend (who happens to share said house with me). He wants to helps. He tries to help me. In fact we recently opened a joint account so that I couldn’t tell whose money was going to what.. I may or may not have control issues. It’s one more part of my anxiety I am working on.
Sometimes I feel like I am crazy. Even after years of therapy and hard work internally I can’t seem to curb all of my anxiety. I still have terrible self image problems, I still want to be in complete control (something I have, thankfully, learned to overcome without self harming! Baby steps!), there is so much about adult life that is hard for me.
I feel like the signs were all there for me to pay attention too on how to manage my adult life, but I missed them, or just.. wasn’t looking up when I should have been. Why isn’t thins something you get prepped for? I feel like if I had student loans or something, my life would be even more hectic. There would be no vacations, no going out, no new car, no house. I’d be in a tiny apartment crying all night trying to get my life in order.
I think before you sign a paper for a student loan, or a loan of any sort (I now have several with the house and car..), they should have to take a class. What is interest? What does your interest rate mean? When should you pay your payment? If you pay early is it beneficial or is there an extra fee associated with it? I feel like all of those things are valid an need to know. I also think it’s important to know who holds your loan and what their policies are regarding payments and such.
Not sure where I am going with all of my rambling today but it feels good to express my frustrations out loud, or at least in written word.
Thanks for listening/reading!