Resolution

So, I don’t normally start my New Year with a Resolution, but this year, I feel like I really need too.

It’s not going to be one of those regular resolutions where you vow to go to the gym 3 days a week, or lose 20 pounds! But, it is something I have struggled with for a really long time.

My resolution this year is to love myself. Or at least work on loving myself.

I have struggled with loving myself for YEARS. As long as I can remember I have hated myself.

There have always been things about my body, my mind, myself in general, that I dislike, hate is not too strong of a word.

So, this year, I am going to try my best to love myself. To see some positive things about myself. To work hard and appreciate what my body does and can do.

I didn’t want to make a resolution to go to the gym, because I have already been going to the gym (reasonably) consistently.

And I didn’t want to make a resolution that revolves around a number, because I have discovered (through past attempts) that that type of resolution doesn’t work. And when the number isn’t realized, it feels devastating and the cycle of self hate starts all over again. I don’t want to fall back into that pattern this year.

Do I have goals for this year that revolve around my weight and my appearance? Of course, but that’s all they are. Goals. Not requirements, not things that HAVE to be done. Just things to work towards, this year, and in the future.

Some of my goals include finding and fitting into the perfect wedding dress for my wedding later this year (That’s right! I got ENGAGED!), I also want to work on my money management.

Budgeting is not my favorite thing, I actually am really not very good at all when it comes to managing my money. So I would like to make it a goal to be better with money, especially with a wedding on the way.

Do I want to lose weight? Of course I do. I think everyone does. But I am going to focus on other things first instead of making that a priority.

Do I want to make more money? Of course. Everyone wants that too. But I am comfortable in my job. I make enough money to live very comfortably on, so now I need to just learn to budget it.

Most importantly, I want to learn to love myself. I NEED to learn that.

So, here’s to 2017.

 

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