The Stressful Life I Lead

Lord have mercy, this has been a crazy time. A crazy year thus far. Where to start..

Well, I guess we can start with me. Bobby and I have not made any progress on our wedding planning, although we have made the decision that we would like to get married in Las Vegas. Other than that though.. we seem to be at a stand still. It’s slightly disheartening to have made such little progress since it’s such a large part of our lives that we are planning to embark on. Other than that, things have been a bit stressful at work. Communication problems are what we are calling it, essentially, it’s me getting bullied by my boss. I’ve had multiple meetings regarding this lately and tomorrow it looks like it’s going to come to a close since I have a meeting with my boss and her boss. We will see how things go. I am a bit nervous about it, but I know this needs to happen. This needs to be a stepping stone, a way to move forward from where we are. I plan to make my job into a career, and that requires an environment I feel comfortable coming too in order to work. I would like to stay here until requirement, and I am desperately looking forward to making things a little bit better. I don’t need a perfect environment, but I would like it to not be as tense as it is right now, because this doesn’t feel like a healthy place for me right now. I am willing to make any changes necessary to make it a better place to be for the rest of the time I plan to work here.

Let’s move on to my sister, Brittany. She had her mole/skin tag removed, and it has been biopsied. She found out the cells are precancerous. They think they got them all, but they’re going to continue monitoring it and the rest of her moles/skin tags to make sure they aren’t precancerous as well. I am just beyond stressed about this entire thing. It breaks my heart to think that my sister is going through PCOS, through trouble trying to have a baby, and all of this precancerous madness at the same time.. It just doesn’t seem fair. I wish that things could be easier for her. Just this once.

Now we can move on to my parents. My dad has officially retired. He turned in his bunker gear and he is officially done. He is now a nervous wreck, which is worrying the rest of us a little bit. He has never NOT been working. Since he was 14 or 15 he has always had a job. He is already planning on starting a second career very soon, but for now he is worried about it. I think we are going to plan a big party though to try to set his mind a little bit at ease.

My brother did get a full-ride+ scholarship, but it’s through the honor’s college and he isn’t happy about it. He is really stressing about going through the Honor’s College, he just wanted to go to college without any extra or added course work. I think this is a good opportunity for him, but I know he doesn’t see it that way. I love my brother, and he is beyond brilliant, but he is also lazy and tends to have a sense of entitlement. I just hope he realizes what amazing things can happen and come from being in college, applying yourself in college. It’s such a huge time of growth and personal change. I want him to be open to those things. I want him to experience the magic of college that I did. To make friends and to encourage and grow those friendships and himself as a person. We will see how things turn out. Thankfully he is going to school in the same town where I live, I don’t want to helicopter, but I will probably try to take him to lunch a few times a month and see how things are going.

I know all of this stuff probably seems simple and stupid to some people, but part of anxiety is that all of these things are.. monumental in my brain. So I am just trying to move forward without having an anxiety attack about it all.

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