So, I told myself I was going to try to be nicer to myself this year. Try to love myself more.
And I am (semi)happy to report, I have been TRYING. Is it successful? Not always.
But I haven’t given up yet. So that’s progress.
Now, has the year been running smoothly? Not even close.
My parents and pretty much the entire rest of my family went on vacation for a week. This wasn’t a bad thing. They all needed to get away, but since I had already been on my vacation I was in charge of house/dog sitting.
It wasn’t terrible, but it was a real strain on my nerves. 6 giant dogs, the smallest being a Bassett Hound, plus cows, chickens, and a couple of cats. It got to be A LOT to deal with by Thursday or so. But it’s done! They all had a wonderful time and now everyone has taken their critters to their own homes.
However, I found out after they all get back, completely on accident, I might add, that the EX BEST FRIEND (mentioned in several posts) INVITED HERSELF ALONG!!!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I was sad I had already planned and paid for a vacation in December last year, but NOT after hearing that! I can only credit it to divine intervention that I was not on that trip.
So here’s what went down.
The EX best friend still talks to my sister (I don’t know why in the world, my twin decided to be Switzerland in our.. downfall) and apparently she figured out which cruise they were going on based on where Brittany said they were going and when they would be leaving. So what did she do?
BOOKED A ROOM ON THE SAME BOAT.
Am I the only one who thinks that, not only is that incredibly rude, but also CRAZY.
Who just invites themselves to a family vacation? Especially when it’s not even THEIR family going? It’s not even like she offered to pay for anything.
Because, that’s another thing that happened. She didn’t pay for any gas to get to the port. She didn’t pay any money towards the hotel room(s) they all stayed in when they got to port before they left. She didn’t pay for any food on the way down there or back.
Now, I think all of this could have been avoided if my parents or sister had just believed me years ago when I told them she was a mean and crazy person, but no, they didn’t believe me. So they’re out like.. $600 at least just in money she could have, but didn’t, contribute.
Now, I have written about my family a lot, but I don’t know if I have ever mentioned that my parents aren’t exactly “well-off”. My dad’s a firefighter. My mom works a job for just above minimum wage. They have one kid in college and one finishing up high school. Neither of which equals having extra money to spare.
Some background on the EX best friend’s finances. She has never had to get a job or work, because her parents pay for everything. Parents she hates by the way. Even though they bought her a brand new truck, which she doesn’t pay for, they pay for her phone, her gas, anything she asks for, and they paid for her schooling at a large university when she didn’t get any scholarships to cover the tuition. I would also like to add she went to school for almost 8 years.. on their dime. Her parents both make over $100,000 a year with two grown kids. Both of whom still live with them.. Enough about that though. Now I am sounding bitter.
I probably wouldn’t harp so much on things like that, but she always made it a point to say that my parents always paid for and proceeded to hand me everything.
I would like to insert here, that I worked all the way through school, because it took me five years and my scholarship ended after 4. I bought my own car, and paid for my apartment.
Again, time to switch the subject. Bitter. Me. Yes.
Anyways, so the fact that she didn’t bother to pay for anything was rude, she has been around my family, she knows they aren’t as well off as hers. Like it wasn’t rude enough to invite herself on a FAMILY vacation…
Needless to say, it’s been a slightly bumpy start to the New Year.
So what does this have to do with me? My half-ass resolution? Probably not a damn thing.
But I do know this, it’s so much harder to even consider loving the person I am, when I am being reminded of my past.
You might be wondering what I am talking about with that.
The EX best friend is very small. Petite. I am not. She NEVER let me forget that fact. In fact, when she sent naked photos to my fiancé, she made it a point to remind him of that. She told him she was smaller and what he deserved. Asked him if he really wanted to be dating a “fat bitch” like me. Keep in mind, at that point in time, we were FRIENDS. BEST FRIENDS. And for some reason she still can’t see where the friendship went wrong…
This entire situation has been like one giant flashback.
The only positive that came with this entire situation is that now my parents don’t think I am entirely crazy about ending a 10 year friendship. Mainly due to some of the things she did while they were gone.
Like wanting to take selfies with everyone there and send them to me to let me know that she was on vacation with them when I wasn’t. Which is just rude. But also immature.
I think this is going to be a raw wound for quite some time. I’ll try to maintain updates on my resolution and this fiasco of a situation.